Glorious Sleep

We were blessed with a very good sleeper very early on. I think Margo officially slept through the night at 8 weeks or so? (The question mark represents the fog of the first months… it was around then. IDK.) She slept in long stretches then, and maybe around 3 months she started to wake in the middle of the night and fuss. We’d stumble across the hall and stick the pacifier in her mouth and everyone was back to sleep in 5 min… no big deal.

It kind of became a bigger deal as of late, though. 2 weeks ago we had a few nights in a week where we went into her room and she was totally awake and not pacified by the paci trick. A few times I even resorted to nursing her, which I hated doing since we haven’t fed her at night since 8? weeks, not a habit you want to start at 6 months.

So, we made the choice to Ferberize her. Best. Decision. Ever. What’s Ferberizing, you ask? It’s a complex system of timed parental soothing to encourage self-soothing for the child, yet pretty simple to operate in the middle of the night. On the first night, we’d only go to her after 5 min. When we go to her, no nursing, no picking her up & rocking. Then, we’d wait until 10 min, then 15 and then 20, repeated until she fell asleep. Subsequent nights have longer intervals. I think it’s mistakenly labled often as “Cry It Out”, but it’s really much more complex than that, and not nearly as heartless as CIO sounds.

Well, the first night was some sort of weird miracle, because everyone just slept through the night. Scott and I were too afraid to even talk about it because it seemed way too freaky that it coincided with our first sleep training night. A few nights later we did do some timing & middle of the night visits, and they worked! Once the time passed a little and we overcame our fear that discussing it and uttering the words “sleeping through the night” might jinx it, we came to the conclusion that Dr. Ferber trained US more than her. I think we were just in the habit of hearing her fuss and thinking “I’ll just do it really quick, then she’ll be asleep, no biggie.” Well, it was becoming more of a biggie (more often & longer waking periods) and more disruptive to OUR sleeping. But seriously, I’m flat out amazed at how well and how quickly (like, instantaneously) it worked for us.

I think it taught us how much we just need to trust in her. She knew how to soothe, we just weren’t giving her the chance!

And last night this all came back out with a vengence… we made the decision to take away the swaddleme. This, for those of you who aren’t immersed 24/7 in the latest baby must-haves.  We deswaddled her arms a few months ago, so at this point it was essentially a wrap around her midsection & legs. Well, last night we were glued to the video monitor and watched her roll over, back and forth. This seemed to be a good cut off for the swaddle, lest she get stuck in the middle of the night. So,*gulp* we took it away cold turkey. She did have a period of wakefulness & crying. We make a classic parental misstep and picked her up to rock & comfort her… which was 40 minutes wasted. As soon as she’d lay back down it was more crying. So we went back to Ferber. We left the room, vowing to return in 5 min. But we didn’t have to, because in that time, she was back to sleep. Seriously, it was a miracle.

I don’t want to brag… but I feel I’ve put in my time with bad sleep. I think I stopped sleeping well in maybe October because of my back and weird unable to fall back asleep stuff during pregnancy. And then Margo came. But now? OMG. Just call me a college kid, because I am sleeping like the dead. Even taking frequent naps. It’s quite awesome, and I’m just trying to appreciate this wonderful time when I’m RESTED.


Oh, did I forget to mention?

This summer has just flown by. And I realize as I type this it is not yet in the “over” stage (as much as the weather lately has me wishing it was…) but I have no doubt the month of August will hurry along as well. It’s been a good summer, exhausting but full of joy.

This summer was also the first work/mommy experience I had, an experience on which I plan to reflect in the post. Starting now.

All along, I never knew if I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I figured I’d just know at some point if I felt this was the option for me, and not having “the feeling” led me to believe I wasn’t necessarily in that camp. So, the opportunity arose for me to take a temporary, part-time internship this summer & fall and I thought, “it’s temporary and part-time… why not?” Not many moms are fortunate enough to have a test-run like this. So I did it.

I’m not going to sugar coat it… the work & job were not good. The work was not what I expected it’d be, and without getting into it too much, it just wasn’t educational in the ways I wanted it to be and in the down any sort of career path I want to go.  And this had a definite effect on the working/mommy relationship. Working with a baby is HARD in an ideal scenario in my opinion, and it’s remarkable to me that so many new moms do it, and do it with younger babies than I did it with. I won’t dramatize and say I was MISERABLE and hated life, but this summer, I realized I don’t want to be a working mother.

It was a summer that enabled me to make some decisions and sort through the stuff that is important to me. I’m going to finish my masters, which is only two more classes. I’m going to be at home with my Margo during the days until at least May when I graduate and (maybe, hopefully) longer. I’m going to overlook the apparent contradiction of finishing a higher degree only to hang it on the wall and not use it immediately. I’m okay with it, and if strangers & friends aren’t, I don’t really care. I will use it in some way, shape or form at some point.

We’re extraordinarily lucky to be in a situation that enables me to make this decision, I know. And I’m also extraordinarily excited to do this. So, T-Minus 2.5 weeks – 8 more working days until I’m a SAHM.

(Hey, maybe I’ll get to blog more often! 🙂 )


If I may go all emo for a post…

I’m totally torn about going back to work (even though “back to” is kind of a misnomer – it’s a temporary internship). I start on Monday, and though it’s with the same group of people as last summer’s job, it’s 20 hours a week. So really, it’s an ideal set up. I wasn’t pursuing a job too intensely, it just sort of worked out. Which is weird for me, since I’ve been through a lot of things not working out with jobs, etc.

So, I’ll do the upbeat bright side first. I’m really looking forward to putting on make up, at least for the 3 days a week I go to work. I am excited to be out of the house on a regular basis and talk with grown ups. I’m excited to use my brain and possibly even learn new skills. I’m excited to bring home some bacon. I also know Margo’ll be in the loving and capable hands of her Grammy, a fact which truly makes all the difference. And I’m excited to *miss* Margo, as sadistic as that sounds. Being together all the time is so fun and I love it, but perhaps I’ll appreciate her more with 20 hours a week away from her.

But the torn part, the part that brings me down occasionally, is I have to be without her for 20 hours a week, an utterly unprecedented amount of time. I have to pump instead of nurse (though I can and will nurse over lunch for as long as her current schedule holds). I have to spend hours packing and making lists and forgetting things (probably… I mean it is me we’re talking about here.) And I have to get through slow days at work knowing I’m trading in time with her to be there.

Ultimately, I’m making my peace with it more and more this week. Many days have been long lately… glorious but by the end of them I’m SO READY to kiss the kid goodnight and have a few hours to stare at the TV or put away laundry. It’s been a very up and down week, knowing it’s my last non-working week until December! It is a 6 month part time job – I’m such a lightweight, right? But it’s a huge transition for us at this time. We’ll give it the ole college try  (er, grad school try?) and see how it goes. I really want it to be good an work for all of us… and I’m pretty sure that’s a deciding factor in having these things work.

Have a good weekend, world!

Happy Birthday, Margo!

The waiting is over! Margo is here! Margaret Abigail arrived early this morning, at 5:22am in grand style. It was exciting and dramatic, via emergency c-section. It’s a long story, one I definitely don’t have the energy to tell at this moment, having had about a half hour’s sleep in the past 36 hours. But I’m still up, because I have this adorable munchkin to gaze at adoringly.

Margo is a total doll. She is pretty average – 20 inches and 7 lb 11 oz. Her hair? No, that’s not average. That is proof that old wive’s tales (specifically that one about if you have lots of heartburn your baby will have lots of hair) should be heeded. Her hair is a sight to see. It’s gorgeous, and I can’t wait to tie it up in bows and barettes!

We like to watch her make faces. We’re so smitten by this little girl, she doesn’t have to do a thing and we think it’s cute. She cries and it makes us smile, she opens her eyes and we’re in awe.

And, with her time of birth, we got to see the sunrise and spend a nice morning together as a family of three. This wasn’t the first time Scott melted my heart today, but one of the ones I got a picture of at least 🙂 . We had quite a day, all 24 hours of it, and we’re so excited for the next 24 hours!!

Random Updates with pictures

We were up in PA this past weekend for our niece Sophie’s 1st birthday party and christening! She is too cute, and because of this overabundance of cuteness, we didn’t take a picture of ANYTHING ELSE other than her. Oh well. you know kids. She’s at such a cute age, so fun to be around. Though I will say, Scott and I came home exhausted. Note: all comments that read “Ohhhh, just wait” will be deleted. 🙂 So, Happy Birthday (Tomorrow), Sophie Monster!

And this is me, mid 25 weeks. Fall has arrived in NC, and it’s a freaking blast! It’s almost noon and still not 70 degrees here. I’m LOVING it! So this morning I got all ambitious and decided to go for a little run, but remembered, oh yeah, it’s cool out! What does one wear to run in 60 degree weather? And once I zipped up the jacket, I had to take a pic bc… my oh my, it was tight. Also, as soon as I went outside I ditched it and went with short sleeves and pants. And ran 1.5 miles. Cause I’m still a rock star.

Things are going well with the pregnancy, this past weekend was the first few days where I really *felt* pregnant… like I had a belly that was observable and I’ve started this thing where I can’t get up out of a chair or sofa without saying “uuuuuuugh.” It’s adorable, really. Stuff like that. It just felt more real and different this weekend. (Again, comments saying “Just you wait, missy” will be deleted. I. Know.) 🙂

After a really long weekend, I was kind of irresponsible and put off a lot of schoolwork, which I’m catching up on this week. School is going pretty well, and surprisingly hard with only two classes this semester. I love what I’m studying though, I was just thinking this morning about what my *favorite* class has been within my program and I’m not really sure! I’d have to pick at least 4 or 5, and I’ve only taken 9. So yeah, good choice, good investment, good use of time.

I love this semester also because with two classes and no job, it does give me time to keep up with life… like keep the house generally cleaner than I’ve ever been able to do before, and read! I’m enjoying it while it lasts 🙂 Cause, you know… juuuust wait. I just read The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb and, though it was long, I ended up LOVING it. Absolutely love and recommend it.

One more random thing – I am getting a seasonal flu shot on Friday and have already started dreaming/nightmaring about it. I’m such a shot wussy, I’m screwed.

Back with a Big Post

Well, I’ve certainly been a bad blogger, haven’t I?

here’s my excuse:

Hopefully you’ll cut me some slack!

Here’s some info to get you from A to B. A being “WHAT? Jamie updated her blog, I’m so mad she didn’t write for so long.” to “Wait, what? She’s growing a human?”

Being that I’m getting a bunch of good experience as a technical writer this summer, how about some FAQ’s (even though I don’t see any FAQ’s on IBM’s website, so I can assume that it isn’t quite a cutting edge technology in tech comm…)?

You’re Pregnant?

Yes. Yes I am. And I’m excited too.

What did Scott say?

I think the direct quote from when I got back into bed after peeing on the stick was something like “oooh, good.”

When are you due?

I’m due January 8th, 2010. Of course we’d love the tax deduction in 2009, but it’d also be great to get it in ’10. That’s pretty much the main reason we’re doing this. Woohoo, money!

How are you feeling?

Ah, this is popular. While I understand and appreciate the sentiment, I never quite know how to answer it. When I say “Pretty good” or “Okay” I can feel Scott cringe. Some days, I felt like absolute crap, and am not ashamed to say I dug up some of the plastic bags from last year in my pre-reusable bag days as a just-in-case bag for the car ride into work. Yeah. Mornings weren’t the best, I’m not going to lie. But it’s now the second trimester and everything I’ve heard about it is true, most the energy returning and nausea vanishing. So, rather than focus on how iffy life was the past two months, let’s focus on how excited I am now. And how I can eat fruit and drink water again!!!

Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl? Will you find out?

Oh heck yes we’ll find out! This is one thing we didn’t even really discuss, we’re both pretty sold on it. We should be able to find out mid-August. I don’t have a huge inclination one way or another at this point. I really hope it’s a girl …or a boy. That’s all I really want.

So that’s the skinny. With the combination of the end of the 1st tri, the coming and going of Ashley’s wedding and just a random TOTAL slowdown of weekend events, I hope to dust off the blog and … you know… blog on it. Our schedule was pretty insane in May and June, but it’s minorly hilarious how there’s next to nothing planned for most of July & August. I’m really pretty excited about that, quite honestly!

This Summer

Great news – officially! I got another internship at IBM for this summer. It’s with a different group, and I’m excited to have exposure to a different product…and continue to have IBM on my resume. I start 5/11…woohoo! Is it sad that I’m *most* excited to have the week before I start completely OFF? No work, no school… nothing.

And also, I’m about 1 week from being done with this semester, which is pretty awesome. I will have one more full time semester this fall and then my last class next spring. Next year at this time, I’ll be Master Jamie (or nearly…) Very exciting indeed.

As usual, I have totally fallen off of reading during the semester, with so much school reading, working, moving, ETC… but all that will change this summer. You’ll be glad to know I spent a good portion of last night’s class composing a summer reading list:

1. Memoirs of a Geisha (reread, it’s our JUNE book club book)
2. Revolutionary Road (JULY Book Club book)
3. The Reader
4. Pillars of the Earth (gulp…it’s a big one…)
5. Grapes of Wrath (Kel got me thinking about this one… hopefully it’s not too rough)
6. American Wife (I’m reading it right now actually, totally jumping the gun on the end of the semester… oh well)
7. Bridge of Sighs
8. Year of Magical Thinking – Joan Didion

… and I’m sure some more. Any other suggestions would be fab… woohoo!